


Christmas in Stark Tower

by LadyTheWarrior



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Cheesy, Christmas, Crazy stuff, F/M, Family, Funny, Heartwarming, Humor, Merry Christmas, Multi, friends - Freeform, lots of fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-17 22:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13086870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTheWarrior/pseuds/LadyTheWarrior
Summary: When Pepper decided to invite the Avengers for the Christmas holidays, Tony refused immediately. Why? Well, he knew it wasn't a good idea not even the slightest because every time the Avengers get together something goes very wrong. And he wasn't wrong though, well at least not at first...





	1. Episode 1: Party Crasher...S?

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an old work I decided to put it on here after four years that I finally finished it with one chapter left! Christmas Eve is right around the corner so I thought maybe we celebrate 5 days to Chrismas and have a little fun! Hope you enjoy, I'm sorry if some parts are lame or cringeworthy lol! And sometimes cheesy but it was old and I'm not really good at writing funny fics lol 
> 
> Have fun and Happy Holidays Everybody

**Episode 1: Party Crasher...S?  
**

When Pepper decided to invite the Avengers for the Christmas holidays, Tony refused immediately. Why? well, he thought after a long tiring year it was, at last, he and Pepper could spend some private moments together. Of course, Pepper told him she was only having twelve percents of the moments and besides it was fun to have their new friends company for the holidays. Tony insisted it wasn't a good idea not even the slightest because every time the Avengers get together something goes very wrong. And besides, it was enough to tolerate their faces, especially one-eye Fury, as Tony liked to put it, all the year.

"But I thought you liked parties?" Pepper said as she walked around, tapping on her tablet and doing all her God-Knows-What. All Tony knew she was always working, even he didn't work that much when he was the head of the Stark Company.  _duh!_

"Pepper,Pepper,Pepper, will you please sit down for a second? " Tony said, following Pepper around the tower, looking like exactly like a spoiled brat.

"No, Tony! They're coming; I've already sent the invitations. End of the discussion!" Pepper put her hand on her waist as she cracked a smile and gone into the elevator to go get ready for the  _so-called_  party, leaving Tony behind with completely hurt feelings.

Yeah… Tony loved parties but not with The Avengers… well of course… Agent Romanoff somehow stood out.  _Tony's guilty pleasure._

In the end… Pepper won and The Avengers crashed into the Stark tower.  _Facepalm_ , was the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist's first impression.

And now all of them, well except for director Fury who surprisingly didn't show up, lounged around Stark Tower, enjoying their Champagne and chatting each other.

"Ma'am, " Captain Steven Rogers said politely, looking directly at the smiling Pepper. "Thanks for your invitation; it is really an honor… "Holding his glass. " To the peace, " He looked around at the others, "To the Avengers. "

"Thank you Steve. " Pepper said kindly. " Cheers… "She held her glass along with the others.

"Steve? How is he Steve, now? "Tony whispered in Pepper's ear, smiling forcefully.

"C'mon Tony, have a bit of fun. " She smiled and tapped on Tony's arm, childishly. "J.A.R.V.I.S? " she exclaimed.

"Yes, Miss Potts?"

"Play us something to dance with. "

"Of course Ma'am." And then the loud 80's music started to fill the whole room, which made everybody, and by everybody I mean even the heavily drunk Bruce Banner, got up on their feet.

After a while some romantic music started to play by Tony's order to J.A.R.V.I.S to at least he and Miss Potts could have their moment back, the couples started to slow dance. Pepper and Tony, Thor and Jane even Clint and Natasha were dancing, while Agent Maria Hill eyed Steve Rogers up and down, made him sweat all over the couch out of nervousness, Bruce also had another drink when suddenly…

_BOOM!_

Not only it seemed like something or perhaps _someone_  crashed through the walls, the lights went out and the music stopped.

"Stark! What the hell is going on here?!" Natasha almost shouted while pulling out her pistols out of nowhere. Clint picked up his bow from under the couch, Steve put up his shield, Agent Hill got her pistol ready and Thor called out for his Mjolnir which of course crashed through the glass window to reach him and Bruce… well, he might've long fainted because the amount of alcohol he'd consumed.

"Stark, wanna explain the situation, here?" Steve claimed bitingly which made Tony wince.

"J.A.R.V.I.S!" He yelled.

"Sir, I'm afraid someone broke the security system. " J.A.R.V.I.S's announcement made everyone jolt up in their position although it was too dark to see anything at all.

"Light up the emergencies. " Tony ordered. "J.A.R.V.I.S, right now-" He was cut off by a sudden dark but familiar voice.

"The… Avengers "Everyone narrowed their eyes."… look how far you've ...Argh!"

_another BOOM!_

And then the emergency lights came on. All of the Avengers looked shocked, stunned, froze and their mouth hanging open in an O form.

"Isn't that…? " Natasha was the first one to spoke followed by Clint's widened and then narrowed eyes.

There, before them, besides the green huge raged monster, who had a proud but extremely ugly grin on his face, on a hill of destroyed walls and broken furniture lay a man, oh well… god that all the Avengers knew too well.

"Let me kill him already. " Clint sprinted, only to be stopped by Natasha's firm arm.

"Brother?!" Thor blinked a few times, not believing his eyes. " I thought you were…" He went off.

"Yes… I missed you too. " Loki rubbed his back as he tried to get on his feet. " Actually I… "

"Loki, my love I told you, such boast won't be necessary. " The feminine delicate voice washed the color out of everybody's face, making everyone speechless.

"My love …? " Jane and Pepper muttered while Natasha folded her arms and Maria Hill raised an eyebrow.

"I am afraid you have to come down here, your wife needs your help." The voice echoed again.

"WIFE?! " Now all the four women screamed in the union, making the men jump.


	2. Episode 2: Whose wife is she?

The Avengers weren't that tensed anymore now. Well I mean after they literally dragged the god of mischief on one of the couches and pointed their weapons in his face, like any second now he would get up and call for his army to come down to earth and conquer it or something along those lines. Anyway… the Avengers still weren't particularly comfortable around the god of mischief, well why would they be? Last time the so-called god was on the earth, it wasn't at all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, was it?

"You have a wife?"

"You're his wife?" Now their eyes rolling on the one girl, standing behind Loki, staring at them, totally confused.

"Yes, I am." The ginger-haired girl dressed in a white Asgardian gown, they supposed, raised her head upward, smiled rather proudly, made everyone wince in shock. "Indeed I am."

Loki raised his eyebrow in a mockingly, looking straight at the Avengers in the eye. "Yes Yes… I still don't know what all the fuss is about, we merely came to Midgard to have fun until that mindless monster attacked me!"

They turned back to look at Bruce, now slouched back on a couch with her suit torn apart and his pants kinda… dangling on his feet.

"I can't believe I ruined my new suit. " He said particularly at no one. "Everything about this guys Makes. Me. Angry! " He shouted which made Loki and his  _wife?_ gasp.

"Give it a rest, doctor." Natasha claimed in an attempt to sooth the furious doctor.

"What are you doing on earth, brother? " Thor finally turned back at Loki, confused.

"Yes! What are you doing here reindeer games, you weren't invited! " Tony yelled. " And look what you've done with my building! You see I really enjoy watching Bruce Hulk out and ruin his new suits but I don't appreciate it happening in my tower especially when I'm sharing a moment with my girl!" he finished, red colored in anger.

"Um… thanks, Stark… "Bruce said sarcastically.

"You want to know why I'm here, petty mortals?" Loki rolled his eyes. "I did not want to come here either, it's not that I don't love your company… it's just… I don't love them. "He smirked at their confused faces.

"Then why did you exactly come here… ?" Natasha asked with a nod of her head pointed at the others. " To us? "

"I got bored," Loki answered unimpressed.

"My husband is merely jesting. It is because I insisted, "Again all the eyes shifted to the girl who was now grinning. "I thought it was enormously boring to stay in Asgard on our own since no one was there to celebrate this time of year with us. So I suggested we come to Midgard to visit his brother for the as you Midgarian call it holidays. "She put her hands on Loki's shoulder which made him slouch deeper in his seat. "But then I got an idea because he hasn't left a good memory from his last visit to Midgard, I asked him to take me to a place where you all would be, to apologize. "

"Apologize?" Everyone including Loki looked at the girl.

"Yes, we apologize for all the destruction, my husband made, " She smiled brightly while squeezing her husband's shoulder. " Is it not right, dearest? "

"NO, TIS NOT!" Loki hissed in an angry tone. Only to be responded by his wife's death glare.

"Hush! Do not ruin everything, dear husband!" The girl said, forcing to smile at the others.

"I am a god and I will not be commanded by a woma… ! "

"I am your wife and I can leave you starving!"

 _Silence._  With Loki and his wife in a contest of who throws the longest death glare at the other. Hopefully it didn't last long when Pepper cleared her throat."Sooo… " She started to break the tension. " Welcome… I guess. " She smiled. " My name is Pepper." She shook the girl's hand.

"I know very well who you are, Lady Pepper, " She bowed a little. "My name is Sigyn."

"Nice name. " Maria said, smiling at the girl, waved her hand. " Maria Hill. "

"Yes Lady Maria, I know you as well. " Sigyn nodded, smiling. Others looked at her narrowed eyes and with suspicion.

"It looks like your… uh… husband told you all about us." Natasha said, shrugging.

"Not exactly, but you can say that is in a way… true." She smiled while her eyes were glowing mischievously.

"When did this happen, brother? " Thor asked, confused.

"When did what happened Thor?! Haven't you forgotten brother, I do what I want and when I want? "Loki answered, looking rather annoyed. " Tell me, have I ever asked you how did you end up with your mortal woman? " He continued in a mocking tone.

"So… you guys just married? Jane sat up straighter on her couch while pointing at Loki and Sigyn. " You know it's a little unexpected. I mean where were you when he claimed to be a king on earth, killing a few thousand people. " She asked, looking directly at Sigyn.

Sigyn opened her mouth only to be interrupted by his husband. "Firstly I was, still am, the righteous King of Asgard plus this puny planet, " His exclamation followed by other's frown, even Bruce got on his feet, looking … deranged. " Secondly… I didn't kill anyone." Loki finished confidently, completely ignoring the Avengers.

"You killed Phil!" Tony exclaimed.

"oh...He lives. " Loki retorted.

"He what? "

"Never mind."

"Excuse me Mr. Righteous king of all but I was talking to your wife!" Jane pointed out. "Sigyn… "

She smiled sheepishly. " I was… on a vacation. "

"Vacation? Really? " Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"Well, that was only one time, " Sigyn said defensively. " A woman has to go visit her parents sometimes you know. I had no idea when I'll be gone this would happen. " She added.

"Well, it'd be better next time you take a leash on your husband before you go on a vacation, let him no to mess around with people's brains. " Clint snapped.

"Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the nest today? " Loki raised one eyebrow in amusement, making Clint want to jump at him in frustration. " Do you really wish me to do it again?" Loki smirked.

"Seriously Legolas! I imagine getting rid of someone like  _him_  in your head couldn't really be that much of a problem! " Tony raised both brows, now interested.

"Perhaps I should be using your head next time Anthony!" Loki said with a smirk.

Tony stared at him for a little bit, " I'm not afraid." He shrugged unfazed.

"Oh, but you should be." Loki narrowed his eyes, glaring at Tony. "You should be Anthony."

"You're the one who should be afraid Loki," Clint rubbed his temples, annoyed with reminding those worse memories. "Be  _VERY_  afraid!"

"I simply expanded your view, agent Barton! It's not my problem that your slow mind couldn't take it very well! "Loki looked up with a smirk carved on his face.

Who knew? maybe if it wasn't because of Natasha's firm grip on his arm, he would've already chewed god of mischief's throat.

"Well played, now let's see who's going to laugh when I planted an arrow between your eyes. " He said angrily.

"Dying to see you try birdman. " Well, of course, Loki wasn't the one to give it up anytime soon.

"You guys stress me out! " Banner groaned while rubbing his temper. "Talk again and I would gladly be Hulk out this time. "

"Oooh… it burns you, does it not? " No, Loki just couldn't ...shut up.

The doctor was already in the middle of the room, ready to Hulk out, completely deranged, which made everybody concerned.

"Okay, That's enough! All of you!" Thank goodness Captain Rogers was there. When he got all the attention, he cleared his throat. " We completely forgot the purpose of this gathering!"

Pepper stepped forward. " I'm with Steve, how about we dismiss all that happened in the past, I mean the past is passed right? It's Christmas, guys!" When Other's nodded in acceptance, she smiled. " J.A.R.V.I.S Could you please turn on some music? "

"Sure, Miss Potts."

"Dance with the enemy? " Tony asked, folding his arms.

"It's not the enemy, he came with his wife." Pepper claimed calmly. "Let's just have fun."

And Then the music started again, while the room filled with colorful flickering lights, made it seem like a dance club.

"Can I have that drink now? " Loki yelled which Tony raise an eyebrow to.

"Bar is back there, help yourself." He yelled back in answer, which was responded by a rather… friendly smirk.

" Ma'am, what can I get you? " Steve asked politely while standing next to Sigyn who was kinda… headbanging with the music beats.

She immediately blushed at the side of the Captain next to her. " Captain Rogers… oh my god, I am a big fan of yours as Midgardians say… " She waved her hand in the air, trying not to blush deeper. "You there are nights when I ask Loki to dress like you-" She winked, which made Cap really, very uncomfortable. "Anyways... I drink whatever you suggest!" She squealed. Steve smiled again, offering her a glass of Champagne. While for the sake of being secure, taking a step away from her.

Sigyn blushed deeply, ready to faint while trying not to tremble as he took the glass. " Thank you, Steve. " She said shyly.

"Steve?!" Loki said from the other side of the room, causing her to jump on her feet. " How do you even know them by their first names?" He said annoyed with narrowed eyes tracking Steve where he was.

Sigyn rolled her eyes. "Well honey, you're not the only one who can search through people's minds. " She said while drinking her Champagne.

"I believe… I'm not following. "

"Nothing personal but it's the woman's right to see what is going on in his husband's mind." She stated calmly.

"What? "He snapped. "How could you even do that? " He said, looking extremely confused.

"I have my ways, dear husband. " She winked before she got pulled away by Jane.

Loki looked around for a second, considering his wife statement when Steve got near. He pulled him by his arm, looking directly at him, eyeing the man up and down.

"Got any problem? " Steve asked.

"I'm watching you, Rogers." Loki stated in a dark tone.

"As we do, pal." Steve smiled, patting on Loki's back.

Soon Jane, Natasha, Pepper, and Maria cornered Sigyn, staring at her like she was an alien … which, technically she was.

"Soooo… How did you guys meet anyway?"


	3. Let's Get Drunk

 

 

"Let's get drunk!"

"No, Tony! No one is going to get drunk! Tomorrow is Christmas morning, and I don't wanna wake up with headaches like someone is hammering my… TONY!" Pepper frightened by seeing the sight of genius, billionaire standing on the bar, only wearing the bottom part of his iron suit, and not exactly standing… he was dancing, more like... stripping.

"On the scale of one to ten, do you think how smexy I am?" Tony yelled particularly at no one while holding a bottle of whiskey.

"I suggest you get down and take off that iron suit, it's too stressful for me, Tony." Bruce rubbed his temple, looking exhausted.

Tony offered his hand to drag his science bro up on the table. "Come up bro, enjoy! oh and I think the suit got stuck to my jean's zipper so... I might use a little help."

"I pretend I heard nothing. " Bruce said, raising his hands and walking far away from him.  _Drunk Tony is actively a dangerous Tony, should be avoided at all costs!_

"At least you can tell me, on the scale of one to… " Tony yelled on his back.

"Shut up or this time  _you're_ the one who gets Hulk-smashed instead of Loki!" Bruce yelled back. Loki on the other end of the bar, being a little bit drunk, laughed out loud.

Tony raised an eyebrow at him, drinking again of his bottle. "What are you laughing at cockroach god!"

Loki snapped, folding his arms. "What?" his frown slowly turned into a mischievous smirk.

"What?" Tony repeated, and then the side of his mouth moved up to form a smirk on his lips. "On the scale of one to ten, do you think … "

With the sound of loud shriek, everybody looked back to see Tony shaking his arm, probably trying to get rid of something.

"What is he doing exactly. " Clint narrowed his eyes.

"It seems like he's trying to fly, but the man with the eyes of those similar to a hawk, is the Birdman, right?" Thor exclaimed while choking on his drink.

"Get it off me! Get it off!" Tony screamed while jumping up and down the table.

"What is it Stark?" Steve said, slightly amused. "You're drunk again? "

"No! I mean Yes! But get if off meee! " Tony yelled before he could jump into Loki's arms, who was standing near the bar, smirking but then totally stunned.

Loki frowned at the blushing Tony. His arms circled around his neck while smiling like a complete idiot. "That was a huge… cockroach!"

For a moment Loki just eyed the man up and down, considering the situation.

"Thor! Help me! Get him off me!" Now it was Loki's turn to scream.

"Brother, you're the one holding the man of iron… just let him go!" Thor quaffed the whole drink in his hand.

"No! I'm not holding him! He's the sticking with me!" Loki yelled, struggling to let himself free.

"Oh nanny… I missed you so much!" Stark mumbled while putting his head on Loki's chest, stroking his hair. "What conditioner did you say you use?"

"I swear to Odin, if you don't get off me now, I… " Loki shouted only to be interrupted by Tony's giggling.

"You know that I'm scared of cockroaches, nanny… they're terribly terriblyhuge!" he hid his face into Loki's chest.

"You're drunk!"

"What the… " Steve poked Natasha unknowingly caused her to flinch. " I'm not even going to ask… "

A huge grin appeared on Natasha's face. " Ladies!" she informed the girls who were deep rapt by Sigyn's utterly, extremely tragedy love story. " You're totally going to see this. "

"What? " Jane got on her feet to immediately cover her eyes. "I'm not gonna look!"

"Tony!" Pepper yelled irritably. Maria folded her arms, raising her eyebrows. " What's going on? "

And then when all of them stepped aside, Sigyn finally saw the scene, looking not… exactly shocked.

"Brother! Stand still I am going to save you!" Thor got near to the struggling couple. Tony was still mumbling something along the lines of sing me a lullaby to sleep and Thor tried to part them.

"Thor! You're not helping!" Loki yelled again, trying to push Thor, whose his huge muscular arms were around them now, but Thor didn't even move a bit. Instead it caused all the glasses on the tables to fall on the ground.

"I believe you two are entangled! "

"You think? " Loki snapped.

"I'm totally going to snapshot this!"

Everybody turned to look at the one excited Sigyn, who brought up a cell phone, grinning from ear to ear.

"Sigyn… ? love...?" Loki muttered, confused.

That made everybody to laugh and to immediately bring up their phones, taking pictures, recording videos.

"Brother, I am so sorry. " Thor was the only one who wasn't laughing. Loki stared at him.

"It's the zipper." Both looked at the grinning Tony, whose eyes were closed.

"What?" Loki asked.

"Zipper got stuck to the iron suit, iron suit stuck to your leather pants." Tony laughed, a second later fainted.

"Say cheese!" said Sigyn, taking a picture of miserable Loki, wasted Tony and confused Thor, holding both men.

At least getting drunk wasn't a bad idea after all.


	4. Now Who's ready to Play?!

Snow was still falling, covering all the surfaces in the quiet streets of New York. It was past midnight and everyone was about to cover themselves with their blankets, drinking their hot chocolate and ready to go to sleep. Everyone... except for The Avengers in the high Tower of the billionaire, genius, playboy who was still laughing and having drinks. It was barely midnight and the party was still going on.

"Let's play a game!" the excited Tony, now fully dressed, slouched in his couch and was having a cup of hot chocolate in his hands.

"Really Stark? " Steve raised an eyebrow, not wanting another trouble for the night.

"C'mon Capsicle! you're no fun!" Tony smirked while looking at others. "I know you all want to do this." He tapped his foot on the ground frequently.

"Okay, Stark! You're sounding like an annoying brat, right now! " Natasha groaned, folding her arms. " Tell us what game is it you want to play."

"I'm not playing any games!" Loki murmured from another side of the room, Sigyn was next to him, trying to comfort him because of the earlier event.

Tony half- raised from his couch, pointed his finger Loki. "Reindeer games, you're out… even if you want to play, we're not gonna let you in. "

The god, went deeper in his couch while muttering something along the lines of ' I am god, you loathsome mortal '

"Okay, so you're ready? " Stark, sat straighter.

"Yes, we're ready Stark, spill it out, already. " Clint said irritably.

"Ok… " He looked at other faces to make sure they are ready only to see all of them frown at him. " Who's the best superhero here? "

Everybody looked at each other while Tony was looking at them, amusing.

Bruce was the first one who broke the silence. " We all know where you're getting at with this, so knock it off. "

"No one's going to answer that? " Tony asked, completely ignoring Bruce. "Well, it's not that hard guys… I mean we all know the only genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist here is me… " everybody groaned it only made Tony grin even wider. " And besides… I am the Iron Man. "

"The Ironman is the best superhero?" Natasha took a gulp of her drink. "I disagree… "

"Then who is? " Tony asked with a raised brow.

"She's saying all you need to defeat Ironman is a good magnet. " Steve said, made others laugh.

"Good one cap. " Bruce tapped on his shoulder while grinning.

"All you need to defeat Captain America is a little ice. " Clint said from the other side of the room made Tony jump to his feet.

"High five ,Legolas! You're officially on the team, now "

"But that doesn't mean I'm not the best … " Clint said before get interrupted by Tony.

"Hey where are your powers Barton?"

"Ummm I..."

"Exactly, so quiet."

"Stark, I'm regretting defending you!" Clint frowned.

"You only stated what's obvious!" Tony smirked.

"You mortals are so petty… in my youth I won many battles in all nine realms, that makes me the best of all superheroes." Thor exclaimed with a thunder-like voice.

"I don't understand, why would you even argue, you are all insignificance, I am a god here and I'm pretty amazing. " Loki demanded, getting on his feet.

"How so? " Thor asked.

"When I got here, it took six of you to defeat me! So I am the best of all. " Loki said, having a cocky smile on his face.

"All Loki need is Hulk," Bruce stated, made the smile on Loki's face vanish.

Sigyn went on next to Loki, patting on his back. " Loki, dearest … it's fine, I already know you're the best, you don't have to prove it to anyone else. " Sigyn said softly, blinking innocently.

"Excuse me!" Jane stormed from the other side of the room. "Loki's not the best here. Thor is. He's actually GOOD." Made Sigyn putting her hands on her hips, frowning

"You're saying that like he's the only one here," Pepper said looking at her nails, raising an eyebrow. "Tony's good, too. And he's not a goodie-two-shoes." Her smirk made Jane flinch.

This made Sigyn laugh, only to widen her eyes. " Oh was that hurtful darling? "

"Probably not as much as it felt for Loki to be rejected by his own father," Jane said bitingly, making everyone in the room let out low 'oooohhh's and 'that was looow's.

Sigyn's mouth dropped open in outrage. "How dare you! At least Loki isn't so stupid that he falls for the same illusion trick every single time! I mean, really, are you ever not going to fall for it?"

"Are Thor and Loki ever going to learn that an elevator isn't a magical transport portal? I mean, Tony is actually smart… Loki and Thor don't have a clue about ANYTHING." Pepper stated loudly.

"You all are impossible! " Natasha rose to her feet. "No guy matches my power and my intelligence. I even got the god of mischief with my skills. " She ended with a smirk.

"Well, airhead, some people don't have to just rely on their good looks and big bra to succeed at accomplishing anything," Sigyn looked pointedly at Natasha's v-neck shirt that showed quite a bit of cleavage.

Natasha glared at her, probably ready to tear the woman before her apart.

"Guys, I think you should calm down!" Agent Hill tried to get everything under control.

"Shut up Hill... we're actually talking about heroes here!" Natasha shouted irritably.

"What?" Hill yelled. " A bunch of freaks who can't even do one thing right? "

"How dare you?" Jane and pepper yelled at the same time.

The men stared blankly at the girls, who were now having a heated argument. They glanced at each other.

"I thought… we were arguing…?" Clint asked in confusion.

Tony scratched his chin. "Yeah… I thought so, too… but… I think this is kinda fun!" He dropped onto the couch happily and leaned over the arm to watch the girls have at it.

Tentatively, Loki, deciding to perhaps return the favor Sigyn had tried to grant, sidled over to his wife and touched her elbow. "Er… love? You already know I'm the best; you shouldn't have to prove it to—"

"You be quiet! I'm defending your honor right now! Jane somehow thinks—" Sigyn shrieked, but Loki quickly backed away and dropped onto the couch next to Stark and simply watched.

Thor swallowed and joined them. Slowly Tony started up a betting pool, and the men started wagering which woman would manage to win the fight.

Only a few seconds had passed when a chair came flying over Tony's head.

"What was that?" Tony blinked a few times.

"Guys… I think it's getting serious!" Steve gulped, looking warily at the scene before him.

Now a couch flew over them and…

_BANG!_

_BOOM!_

All the shouting and yelling now turned to roaring and crying and now throwing any object was on their way.

_BANG!_

"Was that … wait a second Natasha has opened fire! " Clint said, stepping back.

"You think? "

It didn't take long when the entire living room got in disarray, with tables flipped and couches tipped over. The men had taken cover behind the bar to hide from the havoc being wrecked by the infuriated women.

Steve took charge. "You guys, we need a plan of attack!"

"I have a plan," Tony said.

"I swear if you say your plan is to attack our girlfriends-!" Loki started to say, but Tony cut him off.

"RUUUUUNNNN!" Tony made a mad dash to the door of the living room, quickly followed by Bruce and Clint while the others just stared after them, open-mouthed.

But when the door was thrown open, the fleeing men stopped dead.

For in the doorway stood Nick Fury… looking… well, furious.

"What is going on in there?" he demanded, storming past the heroes and into the living room. His one eye widened comically at the wreckage, and he surveyed the destruction wrought by the women. "What is going on here?!" he shouted. "I thought we were supposed to be holding a Christmas party, and I come in here and I find that you've made the girls go berserk and are tearing up the tower, and making my team look like fools, and-!" he broke off and blinked, looking at Sigyn and not recognizing her. "Who's that? Never mind; not important! What's important is that you all had better get your acts together! I thought I could trust you guys to have a simple Christmas party together, but no!"

"I think I'm gonna faint," Jane said suddenly before falling on the floor. Make other girls and boys look at her bewildered.

"Jane!" Thor ran at her.

"Ha! She lost it!" Sigyn smirked, putting her hands on her waist. " But I believe… " She looked around. " The entire chamber is circling around us. " She muttered before falling as well.

"Sigyn!" Loki ran at her.

Fury stunned at the door like others, looking blankly at two couples before yelling. " Don't you just stay here look at them like they're aliens! " he considered what he just said. " Go get'em water, goddamit!"


	5. Of Children, gods, and confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Y'all!

**Episode 5: Of Children, gods, and confessions**

"I wouldn't stress out myself much, if I were you," Banner considered what he just said for a second, then leaned back, staring at both women in front of him.

"What's wrong?" Jane was the first one to ask but Sigyn beat her to it, smiling proudly. "We're both expecting sister!"

Jane's eyes widened momentary, looking pale and horrified at her, then the doctor. " Uh… expecting what, exactly?"

Giggling, Sigyn shook her head in excitement. "You do realize that my brother-in-law, Thor, is also the god of fertility, dear!"

"What?!" Jane screamed in surprise, glancing up at Thor who just entered the room.

Thor stormed into the room, his hammer ready in his hand, "Who called me?"

He was immediately followed by director fury, putting his hands on his hips and glaring daggers."Just someone tell me what is going on here? Banner?"

Banner rubbed his temple tiredly, still sitting in his torn up suit, he let out a long sigh," Well… these ladies are pregnant."

"Who's pregnant?" Nat asked, walking into the room.

Tony who was surprisingly silent all this time, standing in the corner of the room, tapped Thor on his muscly shoulder, smiling. "If I heard correctly point break here is becoming a father. "

"Are you serious?" Loki raised both brows, asking no one in particular." How? "

"Oh, they haven't taught you that in space? Honestly, I don't know how a god's biological system work, " Tony shrugged, " but I guess it's when your—"

It was a good thing Steve was around to interrupt him before it gets a little too inappropriate for the audience." Thanks, Tony I guess we don't need an explanation on that. "

"Who else's going to be a father, today?" Maria stood next to the director Fury, folding her arm seriously.

It didn't take long before Sigyn raises her hand excitingly, "Me!" her answer was followed with big surprised eyes, but she abruptly rephrased herself, blushing. "Ahem… I mean I'm going to be a mother."

His green cape flying behind his back dramatically, Loki ran next to Sigyn "What?! Now already?" He hissed, "I literally have hundreds of other children to take care of!"

With that, Thor who was struggling to hang his hammer on a nail in the wall, scoffed. "Not that you take care of them in the first place…"

"Oh shut up, Thor!" Loki snapped.

Maria raised both brows, "What's up with the other kids?"

"Yeah what's up with that?" Tony slumped on a chair, looking at Loki accusingly, " You literally showed up here about a year ago with an army looking like an angsty brat, we never would've thought you were even married let alone have kids! "

"Why not?" Loki broke into a forced and bitter laugh as he said sarcastically " You do realize that I am more than a thousand years old, metal brain?"

Of course, Cap's morals refuse to undergo any of that, so with an accusing look, Steve pointed at Loki, "Wanna clarify your situation here then horny god?"

"Wow Cap… you just escalated to a higher level in the game!" Tony clapped like a proud a father, which only earned Steve's confused look in return. "Thanks, Stark. "

Frustrated, Loki sat next to Sigyn, throwing his hands in the air, "What? You mean you've never made out with a Giantess or or a—"

"A horse? " Thor raised his brows suggestively. To that Loki gritted his teeth. "What have I told you about bringing that up, Thor?"

" Can we not! " Sigyn's sudden outburst stunned everyone. Loki, on the other hand, smiled flirtatiously, putting his one hand on her thigh. "Yes, dear exactly! That's what I'm telling them, can we not talk about horses?"

" Oh that's actually a lovely story, " Sigyn smiled feverishly, " I was only talking about that Giantess."

Tony who seemed to be just getting what was going on, got up on his feet, trying to actually digest all the new information forcing into his brain, "Whoa, Whoa! We're obviously missing something here! Let me get the popcorn and then you'll tell us the story, okay?" In a blink of an eye, Tony was gone to the kitchen.

Sigyn also at his feet. "Lovely! I make Poptarts! "

Yelling at their back, Loki was all red in both anger and embarrassment. "There is no story! "

Before they knew though Sigyn and Tony were back with big bowls of Poptarts and popcorn, sitting on the couches like there was a movie to watch.

"As the director here, I feel like there are many things we need to learn about you, Loki!" Fury pointed, appreciating the hot popcorn.

Thor shook his head before Loki could reply, "Well there's not much to it, Other than that a few hundred years ago my brother did a very gallant job, no warriors in their right mind would ever do!" He nudged in Loki's ribs, smiling rather proudly, " To throw the enemy out of our great city, Asgard!"

"Which was?" Shoving popcorn in his mouth, Clint asked skeptically.

"Oh, he became a parent to an 8 legged horse named Sleipnir." Thor finished with his mouth full of Poptarts.

Sigyn clapped her hands on his heart in response, "Aw which I must add… it's very precious."

"It's a … boy." Loki muttered, arms folded over his chest, sulking in a corner.

The entire room fell as silent as death and then, all at once, burst into laughter. Tony who was the first also the last one to still his laughs, finally inhaled much air, enough to say something. " What have you been screwing, dude?"

Thor scratched the back of his head, wiping tears. "Err… it was more like the other way round."

"Shut up, Thor!" Loki yelled, standing." And you… I'm sure you too have children you're not aware of them, Tinman!

Tony shrugged, digging into his pop tart plate. " Meh, probably but I'm pretty sure I've never been a mother and to a horse. "

"Look, guys, I know it's weird and it's even weirder that you actually enjoy this weirdness but there's still something in mind about what Sigyn says… Thor… god of fertility?" Jane wondered.

"Oh yes! good subject." Loki began to sit down again, now he too had a handful of popcorn on his plate.

Tony nodded in response, " This is getting interesting."

Sigyn put a hand on Jane's shoulder, trying to soothe her, "Ah my poor sister… don't stress yourself. It will be your first but hopefully not the last."

"I… I don't understand."

"Wait wait wait guys!" Tony shook his index fingers, jumping up and down as he just discovered something out of the ordinary, not that everything about them was exactly ordinary, really." Does that mean she will be preggers, whether she wants or not? I mean did she even have a choice? "

The private question cause Pepper to glare at Tony, secretly scolding him for his behavior. Tony smiled guiltily at that. "What? We're just talking. "

"Well, it is a blessing really. "Thor started to explain. " My seed is pretty strong"

"Ah yeah which reminds me of the kids you've failed to care for in the past." It was Loki's turn to bash his brother, now.

"Kids? "Jane swallowed thickly.

Thor shrugged as if it wasn't a real issue they were talking, " Well we all have made mistakes, hopefully, I'm going to learn from them. " He pointed at Loki.

" Oh Thor," Smiling dearly, Sigyn, got up to put more poptarts in Thor's plate. "I wish there were more gods like you!"

"What does it have to do with me? " Loki pouted. But instead of getting a proper answer, Sigyn looked away. Both her and Thor ignoring Loki completely, Thor finally put a hand on Sigyn's shoulder. "You will make a great mother Sigyn."

"Why thank you."

Everyone went all Awwws and Owws in the room, wishing happiness for Sigyn as Tony muttered sarcastically. "I wouldn't be so sure. "

Having had enough for the night, Steve let out a deep sigh, "Isn't anyone else here who wants to confess something?" Tony raises hand slowly. Which Steve rolled his eyes to, " Of course, Tony—"

" Now what kind of surprise do you have for us, Tony?" Clint asked, intrigued.

"I'm also—" Tony went off.

" Please don't tell us you're going to become a dad, too?" Nat facepalmed at the idea.

Maria continued, giggling, "Or a mom ?"

"God forbid!" Pepper gasped at that, also frowning at Tony, expecting anything really. " Tony?"

"Chill, guys!" Tony waved his hands, laughing " But I'm getting engaged. "

Everyone in the room was stunned, "What?!"

Looking anywhere but at the girls, Pepper pretended to be on something on her tablet, muttering, "Well this is new."

"Well since it's Christmas," Tony cleared his throat, " And these Shakespearean demigods are becoming fathers, I thought what the heck! Let me just engage tonight." Then he got up, looking at the people present in the room. He decided to start with one serious spy, "Nat…"

Nat put one leg on the other, raising a brow as Pepper threw a confused look at the both of them. Tony continued. "You're hot… and I know it's heartbreaking but… it's not you."

Sighing in relief, Nat rolled her eyes sarcastically, "I can feel my heart shattered, why did you do this to me, Tony?"

Tony nodded, batting his eyelashes dramatically, "I know, also Agent Maria Hills," He turned to look at the agent next to Fury, " You're not the one either."

"Good lord! I've been never this flattered in my life." She also rolled her eyes at him.

As Tony turned to look at Fury's angry eye, " Uh… nevermind, ", Turning again he passed Clint, "Don't get ideas Katniss," He passed Thor and Loki, " I hate both of you, White Chicks!" He winked at Banner, "Sorry bro but not tonight!" Which of course got Banner off guard and he sat straighter, holding onto his torn up suit with uneasiness.

Tony finally stopped in front of Steve, smirking. "Captain—"

Glaring dead serious in his eyes, Steve nodded, "Stark—"

Then Tony took a step forward, looking serious, eyes fixed on the man out of time, he stood only inches away from him, holding his hands which Cap nervously took it and got on his feet. Now a few inches taller, Steve was holding his breath as a smirk appeared on the genius face. Everyone was silent, waiting for the moment to come. Sigyn practically trying to keep herself together when Tony finally exhaled loudly.

"You have a boyfriend, so I wouldn't dare."

Then again, everyone in the room went, " Whaaaaat?! Whoooo?!"

Tony shrugged indifferently, " It's Bucky. " then turned around to wink at his guests, "Don't tell anyone, it's a seeecreeeet!"He mouthed the last word.

Steve tensed up, his fists tightening." I swear, Tony—"

"Save it spangles, I know you love me—"

But before Steve could even think of a retaliation, Tony stood in front of Pepper, Looking into her eyes. "J.A.R.V.I.S, The lights!" He said, as the room illuminated by flashlights and flickering light bulbs and Chris De Burgh's "Lady In Red" started playing, these all caught not just Pepper but everyone in surprise. Tony finally took a step closer and knelt before her. "Pepper, Will you marry me?

Pepper didn't know what to say, everyone's eyes were on her. She covered her mouth with surprise, giggling. " Tony… you really didn't have to—"

"I know… just say Yes already." Tony insisted like a child-man he was, " Please please pretty please."

It didn't have to wait, Pepper let out of her held breath," Fine. Yes" But before she could say something else, Tony's arms were around her waist and on her shoulder, kissing her on the lips.

Tears of happiness filled everyone's eyes. Nat, Maria, and Clint smiled, Steve clapped, Bruce wiped a tear off and Fury wasn't as deadly serious.

Sigyn intertwined her fingers together,"Aw… this is the most romantic thing I have ever laid my eyes on."

"Sentiment," Loki forced himself not to throw up which earned him a smash on his shoulder by Sigyn, " Did you say something dear? "

In between the love song playing, people two by two dancing, Sigyn scolding Loki and Banner trying to find a strong drink on the shelf, Jane closed to Thor, whispering, "Thor, I'm still wondering… how many children do you think we can have ?"

"Oh fret not dear Jane," Grinning ear to ear, Thor brought up his drink, kissing Jane on the forehead, " A hundred, two at the most. I'm not really good at math."

"Okay… I just… you know… I'm outta here."

"What? Why? Jane? Wait for me, my lady!"

Aside from all that, Pepper smiled in Tony's arms. It was the Christmas Eve after all and of course, she was scared a little bit of the result but away from all the villains and dark sides of the world, they had finally managed to have a good night. But above all and finally she got her 88 percent of the moment back.


End file.
